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Tuesday, 17 April 2012

Hey, how you doin'?

Once again, I'm using Twitter for my inspiration for a blog post, purely because this one was definitely too funny for me to leave alone. Now, personally, I don't think I've ever been picked up with some cheesy chat up line. If I have been, then it obviously wasn't exciting enough for me to remember. There were some super creepy ones online the other day; if anyone tried these on me, I don't think they'd work but I'd definitely remember them!

  • I put the STD in 'stud', now all I need is U...
  • Are both your parents retarded? Because you're looking pretty special...
  • I've tried every other girl in here so it looks like it's your lucky day...
  • I heard you play hard to get. I play hard to get rid of...
  • Excuse me, do you give head to strangers? No? OK, let me introduce myself...
  • My personal favourite.... "Is your Dad in jail?"; "No, why?"; "Because if I was your Dad, I'd be in jail..."
I honestly have no idea where people come up with this stuff. Then today, I came across this trend in Dublin #HarryPotterchatuplines. Now anyone who knows me, knows what a Harry Potter fanatic I am so this obviously caught my eye. Please find a few the best ones below (NOTE: if you have never read or seen Harry Potter then will either just not get these or will not find them funny. You should stop reading now and just go to another one of my blog posts, they're pretty amusing ;)
  • One night with me and they'll be calling you Moaning Myrtle
  • Are you a Horcrux? Because I would definitely destroy you
  • You're definitely not a Muggle because I'm under your spell
  • Is that Nagini in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
  • Do you play Quidditch? Because you look like a Keeper
  • Are you sure you're not a Dementor? Because you're taking my breath away
  • Your smile is like 'Expelliarmus'; simple but disarming
  • I've lost my Invisibility Cloak but do you think I could still visit your restricted section tonight?
  • I don't need a key to your heart, I'll Alohomora that shit
  • I'd like to get my basilisk into your Chamber of Secrets
Moral of the Story - if you're going to use a chat up line, make it a memorable one! Mmmmm, not sure if I'll be able to read Harry Potter books the same way again after this....

Monday, 9 April 2012

There's no place like home....

Don't worry, this isn't going to be another whining post about how much I miss the homeland! As most of you will know, the house that I grew up in my whole life in Ballinteer, Dublin 16, has been up for sale for nearly 2 years now. It is an awful time to try to sell a property in Ireland but it was time for us to downsize. As it had been taking so long, when I left in October, I didn't really expect that the house would be sold before I got back in July.

Lo and behold, on Skype last week with the family and the news was broken to me that the house has been sold and they are due to move out by the 31st of May. They have not yet found a new place but sent me on some of the links to properties that they are looking at. I couldn't help but think 'they look SHITE compared to our house'. In all fairness, I knew it was coming but I don't mind admitting that I shed a tear or 2. I didn't take full advantage of my last few days in that house to say goodbye to it properly and now when I get back to Dublin, there'll be some other family living there. Eewww.

In the spirit of nostalgia, here are a few of the more memorable moments/things from my 26 years living in 90 Ludford Drive;

  • All those summer days in the paddling pool in the back garden (I know, summer days in Ireland, what??)
  • The day Mary left a stew for us, all my dad had to do was switch on the oven.....we went to the park, came back, he'd never switched it on. 3 hungry children and a man incapable of cooking, good times. 
  • The bathroom in the garage that EVERYONE used to use. 
  • The day I got locked in the utility room and kicked a hole in the bottom of the door to yell through to the kitchen to get Mary to let me in. 
  • When me and Jenny broke a coffee table in the sitting room by imitating dance routines from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. 
  • The day the extension was finished and all us kids finally got our own rooms. 
  • When we got the majority of the garage converted so that we would have a special room to play poker in and then managing to turn the whole downstairs pretty much into a casino every now and again.
  • The shed that used to be THE hang out spot during our teenage years.
  • Let's not forget the parties, planned and unplanned, from when we were kids playing musical chairs and giving out sweet bags to the guests; to the present, where you'll usually get breakfast cooked by Mary and an unbelievable hangover to take away with you. All the 21st birthdays, Christmas & Stephens Day sessions; not to mention the random nights that people would come back after a night out.
Strangely enough, this Skype conversation and all these memory lane trips occurred within a few days of me also making a move here in Canada. Having spent the last 4 months not even really seeing my housemate Greg, I decided it was time to up sticks and leave him, move somewhere a bit closer to work and with people that I am already good friends with. It's only been a week but I think it seems to be working out OK so far.....watch this space ;)

Moral of the Story - moving onwards and upwards, making big changes; it's what life is all about. Make sure to remember the good times and look forward to the times ahead.