Irish Facts Without Wikipedia

I'm not generally a major Twitter fan. There does be some interesting stuff but for the most part, I find it tedious and there is just too much crap! Occasionally though, you find some gems, like today. Rick O'Shea of 2fm started a trend by asking people to post #IrishFactsWithoutWikipedia, basically overly false 'facts' about Ireland. I spotted the trend and clicked through....and promptly nearly fell off my chair laughing. Someone had tweeted Rick suggesting that somebody should post it in a blog as they were too funny not to be published. Things are quiet in work right now so I decided to take it upon myself to transfer some of the ones I found most amusing here. Some of them are proper Irish universal truths, the others are pure hilarious. Enjoy!!

• If your Granny doesn't light a candle for you before an exam, you're going to fail
• You must say 'goodbye' at least 3 times at the end of a phone conversation or the phone won't actually hang up
• Bono can shoot beams made of Tayto crisps out of his wicked uniglasses
• In Ireland, Father Ted is seen as a hard hitting documentary
• If you're sick, you don't need a doctor. 7up and toast will do the job
• Abrakebabra have 2 Michelin stars but don't like to advertise it
• Jackie Healy Rae is only man to hold the Irish, European and World Combover of the Year titles
• Not turning off the immersion leads to a fate worse than death (classic)
• Cork is actually only about half the size of the Phoenix Park but we let them draw it bigger on the map just to keep them quiet
• If you say 'Gay Byrne' 3 times fast, Uncle Gaybo will appear and give lollipops to everyone in the audience
• It's an old Irish custom to declare your intent to marry a girl by draping a large raw steak over her face
• Iceland used to be a county of Ireland before it broke off in 1941. Nobody noticed because of the war
• We are all fluent Irish speakers but we don't want to get stuck talking to Daithi O Se in a bar
• Bono can hear a hungry child's tear hit the dust from 100 miles away
• All toastie specials served in Irish pubs contain molten lava
• There's no money resting in ANY Irish bank account anymore
• 'An bhfuil cead agam dul go dti an leithreas?' is the most used phrase in the Irish language
• Vincent Browne had a successful acting career as Worzel Gummidge
• In Ireland, it's widely accepted by the Vatican to break Lent on Paddys Day for crisps and chocolate
• The tallest mountain in the world is actually Muckish in Donegal. It's just lying down, so you can't tell
• It is compulsary to say 'aahh' after the first sup of tae
• Members of the Irish Parliament use croissants as emergency sideburns
• If you die of alcohol poisoning, you're considered a lightweight
• Contrary to popular belief, Jim Corr wrote the Irish National Anthem
• Our blood is 90% tea
• We're obliged to have a pint or 2 at the airport before getting on a plane - even if it's 7 in the morning
• Red lemonade is the reason we are all mental because the chemicals used to make it are banned in every other country
• By law, you are only allowed to worship Premier League Foottballers until they put on an England shirt
• Honda Civics, Subarus and Mitsubishis are not as preferable modes of transport as horses
• Dublin Zoo is running a captive breeding programme of leprechauns to replace the current government
• If the perpetual lamp under the Sacred Heart picture goes out, all members of the household die that instant
• Shortcuts always involve fields
• St Patrick actually smuggled snakes over by accident, though diligently rectified the problem himself
• Anne Doyle is completely octopus from the waist down
• Starving is a word used by the people of Ireland when they haven't eaten for a minimum of 2 hours
• To be considered truly Irish, the wooden spoon must have been a fundamental element of your childhood
• The Vikings originally introduced the battered sausage to Ireland in 956 AD as building material for huts
• The mass decline in population in the mid 1800's was actually caused by a zombie apocalypse

Moral of the Story - Irish people are great craic. Our sense of humour will get us through anything.